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The ultimate guide to...
What not to See
Until Recently Unwritten Movie Laws
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Robots will become self aware and take over the world|
|In any movie that depicts robots as being self-automated beings (especially humanoid), they will, either through power failure, lightning strike, or poor programming, realize their servile position and attempt to amend it through violent means.|
In the first cut of the film Robots, Rodney Copperbottom had his left hand replaced with a minigun. This idea was cut because Fox thought it was too violent for the young demographic at whom this movie was aimed.
|The whole idea of robots taking over the world probably began because of the incredible amount of irony: people build robots, people abuse robots, robots kill people. This story has been so overused that I'm starting to feel guilty about putting my toaster on high, for fear that the toaster can feel pain.|
Isaac Asimov had a different opinion. In Asimov's science fiction novel series, he predicted that if the human race ever creates robot machines, we will build safety precautions into them as we do with any machine. Swords have scabbards, cars have airbags, and robots have the three laws of robotics.
This seems reasonable enough. Even if you don't program your robots to follow these three laws, there are plenty of other ways to keep them from killing you. For instance, when designing a mechanical brain, why not just leave out the part that make robots want to kill people? You could even replace it with something cool, like a juggler chip! That would be awesome! So every time you really piss off your robot he picks up the three closest things at hand and starts juggling! If you laughed at him, he would just juggle harder!
- A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
- A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
- A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Even if these dangers are taken into account, there is still a chance of lightning.
It seems unbelievable that something as random and violent as a lightning strike could reprogram a computer, but just to make sure, I decided to conduct an experiment. I needed a computer on which to test this theory. I was looking for something slow and cheap. Slow, so I could outrun it, and cheap, so I wouldn't have any problems with shooting at it if things got out of hand. I ended up using some old thing I found in my basement (I think it used to belong to a friend). I used a paperclip to short a couple of traces in the power supply simulating a lightning strike. There were a few really cool sparks, but when I tried to fire it up, it wouldn't try to kill me! It wouldn't do anything! I even wrapped a few cables around my neck to give it a head start and still, nothing happened. I was very disappointed.
|So the government spends years and billions of dollars creating a machine that will be responsible for carrying weapons capable of destroying entire cities, and mother nature spends 30 seconds creating a lightning bolt that messes everything up.|
|I probably should have put The Matrix but the whole robot revolt happens in the Animatrix|
|This is the classic robots-take-over-the-world movie/video game(s)/ride. I think the best part about this series is that the robots aren't really fighting for any particular reason, it's just because they can.|