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Pen Vaulting
4-30-05
Introduction

Latin is a dead language, and it was killing me. During Latin class in the seventh and eighth grades, I got pretty bored. Anything, and I do mean anything was more entertaining. I would spend my time counting ceiling tiles or trying to guess what the scent of today's air freshener was until I invented Pen Vaulting.

The object of this game is to use the spring action of a clickable pen to launch the pen as high as possible.

How to play

First, take your pen and click it down so that it's ready to write; hold it in your dominant hand. Place your other hand on the table for starters. Now, toss/drop the pen on the table so that its weight depresses the clicker and launches the pen upwards. With practice, you will be able to successfully launch the pen over your hand. When you've mastered this, move your hand higher and try to clear that. Below, I have a few pictures of pens in action (yes, these were taken at home).

This pen didn't quite make it over; you can see that it has started to fall back down.


Although it looks like I'm just balancing this pen on my hand, this is actually mid-flight. This illustrates one of the main techniques of Pen Vaulting. You want the center of balance (the middle of the pen) to clear your hand, so you want to have the pen spin in such a way as to allow the center of the pen to come as close to your hand as possible. The best way to do this is to let the pen roll over your hand.

This beautiful shot depicts the pen in mid flight. This particular pen cleared my hand easily (because I'm that good).

The Pen

When choosing a pen, it's important to find a pen with a high spring to weight ratio. I would suggest any sort of drug pen. If you know a doctor, ask him/her for a supply. These pens are the best because they have a strong spring and are still heavy enough to use. Some of the pens you might find are so light, that it is difficult to drop them hard enough to click the spring and launch them into the air.

This pen is from BB&T. It is a little too light.This drug pen however has plenty of girth and a very big sweet spot.
Rules and Scoring

Remember kids, steroid use is strictly forbidden in pen vaulting; Users are Losers! All pens used must pass pen vaulting official pen regulations (must be able to write). The pen may contact the crossbar, but any attempt to bump it over using your hand is strictly forbidden. I highly suggest you get a ruler out and measure your accomplishments. My record is 14 inches (he), but seriously, if you can beat me, send me an e-mail and I'll put you in the official Antiyawn records.

Safety

As with all sports, pen vaulting can be very dangerous. Be sure to wear eye and ear protection at all times and that you're working on a clean, dry, and even surface in a well ventilated area. Be sure to be considerate of other people. Never under any circumstances point a loaded pen at another person; pens can fire at any time causing serious injury or DEATH. I am not responsible for any pen related injuries that occur as a result of this site. Remember all stunts on this site are performed by professionals; attempt at your own risk!

Conclusion

The only way to get better is to practice. The best way to practice is while playing Eye of the Tiger and wearing a sweat drenched sweatshirt. Happy vaulting!